Hey Ass hole, get some insurance before you prolapse again.. Will Ya?

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Most of us know about basic life things.
For example we know its wise to invest in insurance. Whether it be medical insurance, if you get ill.
Auto insurance in case of an accident.
Life insurance so that your loved ones won’t have to live under a bridge when you unfortunately die.
But strangely enough, it seems that if my awesome bun hole gets ravaged unexpectedly, someone’s got that covered…
Other things you can get covered??

-For the out of this world nut job, they have this…

Alien abductions or UFO insurance

Many insurers offer policies to protect against abduction by aliens, with extra coverage to protect against impregnation by those same aliens…….. Several companies still offer the coverage for a one-time premium ranging from $9.99 to $19.95.

If Aliens ever abducted me, I’d be all like, “YEEESSSSSSS!!!!”

-For the whores who won’t to admit to their whore-isms.. You’ve got..

Immaculate conception insurance

Another English insurance company sold insurance to protect women in the event of a virgin birth, or an “immaculate conception.” The policy would cover the cost of raising a child born in this manner. The insurance company collected premiums for six years but canceled the policy after complaints from the public and church authorities.

Everything about this is just WOW in so many ways..

This last one isn’t weird or anything just shocking..

Wedding Coverage

Weddings cost a lot of money. The average wedding in the US costs around $23,000 and that’s without a honeymoon…will also cover you if the wedding is cancelled because someone gets cold feet or someone makes a run for it

I don’t want to be an asshole but I think, if we spend 23 grand on an event and you fucking bail, that should be grounds for that party to get curb stomped American History X style.
I’m not bitter, lonely and/or an advocate for being against marriage but holy shithole!
If you have to take such a loan for a wedding, combined with the loans you both already have, isn’t that wasting necessary funds?
Then you bring a kid in the world. Isn’t that less money to buy things, food, diapers, formula, some weed maybe.
Therefore, won’t there be fights ALL the time?

Shit..

Anyways, I didn’t make these up or anything.. I found some here
and
There..

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Kittens and fun times…

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image

Gizmo in his new fave spot : D

Posted from my THC Evo Android phone πŸ˜€

Go ahead motherfucker, I fucking dare you….

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To show me another goddamn commercial that made you smile this much…

I swear EVERY TIME I watch this commercial, i melt inside like a delicious chocholate ice cream cake from Dairy Queen πŸ˜€

P.S. Another thing about this commercial is that I effin LOVE BUBBLESS!!!Just the thought of them gets me excited enough to cream mein pants.. And I raised two kittens into adulthood so its safe to say that I love kittens πŸ˜€

Horses have NEVER been funnier. I mean EVER!!!

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I had to do a double look and had to say, “what the fuck!” My boyfriend did the same when he looked at it.
Any other time, I would feel REALLY sorry for the horse because they weigh a lot and OUCH. But this shit made me laugh, giggle and snort in that exact order and I just can’t help it..

I love it πŸ™‚

I vana suck yur bloooodd.. MUAHAHHAHAHAHHA :D

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This fucking story is just.. wow!

This happened a little over a week ago..

The arrest of a man accused of breaking into a woman’s house and trying to suck her blood has sparked discussion about the impact of vampire books and movies on youth culture… Galveston police say the man forced his way into the apartment… and made growling and hissing noises while biting and hitting the victim in her bed.

At first, I wasn’t sure if I should laugh at this or shake my head in utter disbelief. Either way, I am sick and bored to death of people trying to blame everything on anything. People do shit because they’re fucking stupid not because they have no taste, watched twilight and thought it would be “so cool to do that” OMG like no it wouldn’t.

I’m just saying, its time we start blaming ourselves for our shitty mistakes not each other.
That creepy dude and hot chick from twilight didn’t text you and tell you to go suck someone’s blood. You watched something completely fictional and stupidity and common sense took over all the other senses and you did something dumb. Deal with it. It sucks, its embarrassing but fuck you. Don’t ruin awesome entertainment for me or others because you’re too weak to appreciate it.

But this part was just the weirdest ever..

19-year-old Lyle Monroe Bensley is.. being held in the Galveston County Jail on a $40,000 bond on a charge of home burglary with intent to commit a felony.. awaits a psychiatric evaluation in jail on burglary charges..

LOL this poor guy doesn’t need a fucking jail cell, he needs genuine help.
He needs to talk to a shrink, have lots of sit down sessions and take some pills on a daily basis.
I repeat, Texas, straight jacket, not jumper suit. Not in this case anyway.

Fuck You Corey Feldman.

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So I read this article regarding Corey Feldman half opening a can of whoop ass on “Hollywood” with accusations that its overcrowded with kid touchers and fuckers.

“I can tell you that the No. 1 problem in Hollywood was and is and always will be pedophilia. That’s the biggest problem for children in this industry. … It’s the big secret,” Feldman said.

EEEEK!!! See, I hate kid touchers. I also fucking hate kid fuckers.
I would probably, no most definitely would go to hell and the fuck back to bring down anyone who willingly harms a child or any innocent bystander for that matter. I would like nothing more than to live in barbaric times where we could just cut their dicks off.

Yeah, that means you Casey fucking Anthony!

“There’s one person to blame in the death of Corey Haim. And that person happens to be a Hollywood mogul. And that person needs to be exposed, but, unfortunately, I can’t be the one to do it,” he said.

See I’m no Hollywood douche nugget. I don’t know how it feels to be in a predicament where saying the wrong thing literally means I will “NEVER WORK IN THIS TOWN AGAIN!!!”
But this shit is bigger than your next fucking movie role.
This shit is bigger than your next paycheck signed by one of the Hollywood Pedos.
This shit honestly might be bigger than your fucking life..
This is about kids being harmed willingly, willfully in their moist holes and no one is doing anything about it.

For all I know, Corey Feldman could have been wasted out of his mind and mistakenly said he was violated by some old hairy douchebag instead of him just giving the guy a blowjob when he was 14.
I don’t know, I wasn’t the fuck there.
I do know that when I read this, I wanted to fly, drive or run to wherever that asshole lives and kick his ass because this is NOT something you take to your fucking grave.

Corey fucking Feldman, this is NOT okay.
It happened to you and your buddy and that SUCKS BALLS!!
But that is no reason to fucking sit back and let it happen to countless others, knowing they’ll pretend its okay because they want to be the next Justin Bieber.
Fuck you Corey asshole jerk off Feldman. You pussy asshole piece of has been turd.
Redeem yourself and career and call out a motherfucker. I totally got your back. I can like break a bottle over a nigga’s head while you swing a bat its all good!! πŸ™‚

Caylee, happy birthday. thanks for making me human again..

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I haven’t made any mention of this..
Sadly, I’ve barely had time to think of it today… Mainly because I left my phone home. But today would have been Caylee Anthony’s 6th birthday.
I had it in my calendar.
Saved on my phone..

But I wanted to acknowledge that I remembered that today is a special day.
Caylee’s life still hasn’t come to an end. At least not for me cause her killer walks among us, free and living a life that some only dream of.
Its usually the mother’s dream and wish to see justice for their baby.
In this case, there isn’t a mother to do that. She’s around but she’s too busy dropping it like its hot at the newest club in town to care about her dead daughter.

I know of a lot of people willing to accept that responsibility. That’s why I can sleep at night knowing I’m not the only one wanting justice for her and I don’t have to carry all the weight solely on my shoulders.

I wish I knew a magic formula to bring justice for this little girl without a voice.
I wish I knew how to stop feeling really bad over it.

All I know is that her killer is out there in the spotlight.
I know there’s a lot of us standing still and proud behind Caylee.
And I know that if her mom wasn’t a lying, murderous cunt, she would have been found and right now laughing and smiling ear to ear opening mountains of gifts from strangers she’d never meet who are just so glad she’s home and well.
But she isn’t.
She’s dead.
I’m okay with death. I swear that I am.
I’m not okay with what happened to Caylee Anthony.

Not one goddamn fucking tiny bit.

fuck.

RIP Caylee..
Shitty as it feels to admit it, baby, you are better off than to grow up with a mother like that.

Happy birthday to you Caylee and everyone else having a birthday today. **forced smile :)*

and a really special thanks to the people who actually care about this.

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