I don’t like to bad mouth dead people because it’s a bitch thing to do considering they can’t really come up to me and head butt me in my vagina for talking shit.
And I’m being honest when I say that it’s just too fucking bad for them. Cause I’m really not the dead one here am I now?
But really, I do have a heart somewhere.
Sweet example of a hearty me moment, I just read an article about the cutest 13-year-old boy who had a cluster fuck of cancers and just died and I would never EVER goddamn usher a negative word of him and if someone else did so, without valid reason(s), I would fucking punch that person in their asshole.
BUT this dead motherfucker I’m about to rip into deserves way more than words.. He deserves, well death.

A man who was thrown from a skateboard while “hot-boarding” near Santa Clarita has died

At first, I was like “awww” cause my boyfriend skates, I’ve had some weird sex with a skater or two back in the day so its fair to say that I like skater boys and don’t like them to die of course.
But this one…

‘Hot-boarding’ is a dangerous stunt involving a skateboarder being towed behind a moving vehicle.

Oh wow. I know, you’re thinking, what one retard thought of this SHIT? But “one” you say???

..on May 1… A San Diego County man was critically injured while hot-boarding after he collided with a pickup truck

uh huh, you know that friend or person you know of that did something that you just HAVE to top? Well for the future, let that thing be something amazing. For example, some bored people have been known to volunteer, read to the blind, build ships in bottles, start blogs.. Whatever the thing. Just don’t let that thing be something like oh I don’t know, holding on to a moving car with wheels or anything strapped to your feet. Better yet, don’t fucking hold on to a moving fucking car ya know?
My favorite part of the story:

Edward Culhane, 35, was cruising along on his skateboard while holding onto a vehicle along Cedarfalls Drive near Urbandale Avenue Saturday evening when he lost his grip and hit his head on the ground.

The dude is 30FUCKING5!!!!!!!! 3 1/2 decades of knowing that fast-moving head + super hard asphalt = dead brain goo on road. But he had no helmet, no pads, no sense. Just himself, his board, a moving car and…

The driver, 33-year-old Ryan Howell, ..suspected of driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs

Can’t forget the drunk AND/or fucked up on non weed drugs friend?!?
I mean without them, who’s going to retell your tale whEN YOU’RE THE FUCKING FUTURE DARWIN AWARD RECIPIENT?!?! Somebody has to accept on your behalf when you’re SIX FUCKING FEET UNDER and none of your family wants to be associated with you..

But ummmm yeah.. That’s it. Not much to say about a story with so many stupids in it. But if you’re interested in the story about the cute little dead boy. You can find it here.

As for the dumb dead fuck, his blurb of a story is here.